Introduction of the Book Oh My Child

The Dangerous Combo

I will never forget an experience that occurred during the first five years of my Christian journey. It was at a church communion gathering in Oranjestad, Aruba. The leaders asked me to lead the women’s group in our morning devotional prayer. As we began, nearly every woman from Curaçao requested prayer for her children who had strayed from the Lord’s path. Among them was my mother.

What struck me most was the deep weeping—the pain and desperation in their voices as they cried out to God. Their prayers came from a place of profound sorrow, and it broke my heart.

At that time, my children were still young, ranging in age from 2 to 7. I remember it vividly. I asked God then and there never to let me experience something like that again. I begged Him to keep my children on the right path and prayed for the strength and words to comfort those mothers.

But fifteen years later, I found myself in that very situation.

For seven years, I experienced what I now call the ‘dangerous combo’—a mix of negative emotions: anguish, shame, fear, doubt, guilt, anger, despair, and family tension. I came to understand those mothers in a way I had never understood them before.

Let me give you a typical example of how this combo would attack me, without warning or mercy. Every time one of my children went out, the worry would begin. I’d think, “I hope they come home early. I hope they remember where they said they were going. Lord, please protect them.” I’d glance at the clock again and again. The moment they were late, my mind would go into overdrive. I imagined every possible tragedy. And if the phone rang at that moment? My heart would pound. I’d panic, expecting to hear a police officer’s voice. I braced myself for bad news. (Mental unrest, fear, panic.)

Most of the time, it was just my husband calling from work to check in or say something nice. Poor man—he could hear the fear in my voice and tried to reassure me, though he didn’t believe the excuses I gave. He knows me too well. (Marital tension.)

Finally, when “sir” or “madam” came home, they were greeted with a barrage of questions: “Why are you late? Where were you? Why didn’t you call?” No matter how they answered, I received their words with suspicion. Naturally, the child would feel offended or even angry—hurt that I didn’t trust them. Then came the guilt. Do you see how it all spirals? That’s the dangerous combination I’m talking about.

At some point, every parent facing this situation must decide: Will I let these emotions destroy me, or will I confront them head-on? The journey of raising a rebellious or distant child is filled with a range of emotions, most of which are negative. These emotions aren’t just uncomfortable; they’re damaging. They impact our minds, our bodies, and our relationships. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let them defeat you.

Recognizing, analyzing, and addressing these emotions is a powerful demonstration of strength. However, it requires intentional effort. You must be willing to act, to look honestly at how these emotions function, and learn to manage them.

That’s what the book AY MI YIU (Oh my child) is all about.

Perhaps you’re navigating a season of fear, guilt, or confusion as a parent. I want you to know—you’re not alone. Although this book is currently only available in Papiamento, I wanted to offer you this heartfelt introduction to share my journey and encourage you wherever you are.